What Counseling Can Do For You

What Counseling Can Do For You

Veterans Crisis Line: Prevent Suicide

Help Prevent Suicide.  Any concerned person can call to help a Veteran.  When in doubt, ask if they are having suicidal thoughts.  Make the call.  Save a life.  

Let go of what weighs you down

Obesity: a Ted talk not to miss

Dr. Peter Attia has me researching insulin resistance after watching this Ted.com talk.

Dr. Andrew Weil has discussed inflammation and sugar for years and correlating health concerns. He prescribes a low glycemic index diet for life.

I have a personal belief that the closer our food is to the way God made it the safer it is. I believe this is what the Paleo diet is prescribing. I also like the 100 days of real food website at http://www.100daysofrealfood.com/

Isn't it amazing how complex the body is that we still don't really know what to eat? It can be so confusing in the eat this not that research.

The Wikipedia resource for insulin resistance describes most obese people I know. Belly fat, depressed mood, increased hunger, foggy brain, high triglycerides, high BP, and sluggish after meals. http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Insulin_resistance

Most alarming is the statement that the belly fat creates harmful hormones that create the insulin resistance.

Meanwhile, our local gas station gives free sodas daily. Any size.

I have actually tried to eat 15grams of sugar or less per day. It was so hard to do. Sugar is hidden in so many things. And to think that sugar that turns to fat makes you hungrier. I recall being told that when you introduce sugar into a child's diet, they lose the ability to self regulate what they need to eat. Prior to sugar in the diet they will eat what their body needs. Vegetables, fruits, etc. but after sugar, they will prefer sweeter foods.

I hope you enjoy this Ted talk. Compassion for those of us who struggle with obesity by turning upside down the prior beliefs in healthcare.

Help Prevent Suicide

Help Prevent Suicide.  When someone appears depressed, ask them if they have thoughts of killing themselves.  You won't know if you don't ask.   If they say yes, you can take them to an area emergency room for an immediate assessment.  They can also call this hotline. 

The Purpose of Life

I find myself reading this quote over and over, as it is loaded with meaning.  The purpose of life….To love life…..without fear…..to experience life and to feel fresh, inspired and to try new things.  Many people that I meet do not experience life with such awe.  There is pain, suffering, disappointments and fear.  How do we look at life, almost childlike?  To be excited again over the smallest of things.  To become explorers and experience life with our senses.  To learn to love ourselves with our whole hearts and share this love with our family and friends.

How to love our life?  How do we love ourselves?  How do we live without regrets?  It makes me think of a toddler learning to walk.  We encourage, we smile and cheer.  We know they will fall down. But we try and try until they let go of our hands and step; they are falling forward.  And the child walks; and we cheer.  I believe the inner voice in our head needs to be that encourager.  Our cheerleader even when we know we will fall or fail sometimes.  We say in our head that we can do it and with some more practice we can.  

Surviving Infidelity

Dr. Scott Haltzman provides a pro marriage perspective and provides much needed rules for behavior in marriage.  This review will provide some basic understanding as to why people cheat and what rules can be used to strengthen a marriage, prevent future infidelity or establish rules following an affair. 

How many relationships experience infidelity?  No one knows!  Most people lie about an affair, so to get an accurate survey is nearly impossible.  We know they are not rare. It is at least 50% of all relationships.  It is no surprise that over 50% of marriages fail. 

So, why do people cheat?  Of course, there is no simple answer and everyone is unique.  But in numerous surveys, there is a natural decline in relationships that increases vulnerability to affairs.  There is also a rush of dopamine, like a drug, when attraction and affairs occur.  Some common reasons affairs occur include: it makes them feel attractive, the marriage may have become problem focused (focus of annoying habits), the allure of others, lack of morality, and addiction or flame addiction (dopamine increases with attraction). 

In college, I asked an instructor who was considered an expert in infidelity, Why do people cheat?  She said, "because they can."

Dr. Haltzman also says reasons for affairs include sexual enjoyment, curiosity, excitement, intellectual sharing, understanding, companionship, ego -bolstering, career advancement, and getting even with a spouse.

Dr. Haltzman recommends the following rules:

1.  End the affair.

2.  Sever ALL connection with the person

3.  Create a "see-through" marriage- create transparency where all communication is accessible including phone, email, facebook, tweets, google+.  There will be no secrets including charge accounts, bank accounts, phone and text records

4.  Make time to talk.  Do ask, Do tell.  The cheated on partner can ask any questions about the affair and the one who cheated must answer all questions openly and completely.  Clarification questions are fine and are to be answered.

 

Following an affair, it is important to express feelings, for both parties.  This is an excellent and common reason to see a counselor.  Sometimes it is helpful to have a person to mediate and help you identify and validate the emotions you may have.